If you are eating, keep your eyes on your own dish

I heard this expression from a former Emirati colleague of mine, and it really resonated with me.   

It was in the context of someone expressing that they felt employees at other companies were being paid more and promoted faster.  I don’t know if that’s true, but this was his response and the idea of just focusing on yourself and your journey, is one I firmly believe in. 

I see and hear too much negative competition these days.  Don’t get me wrong, I think some competition is healthy e.g., if it causes you to run faster – when competition pushes you to be better than you might have been on your own, this is a good thing.  If it causes you to feel bad about yourself, or to put others down to try and make yourself look better, this is a bad thing. 

I once had someone working for me who was so focused on what everyone else around her was getting that she would often put them down.  (I think in her mind she felt if they looked inferior, it would make her look better by comparison.  But the truth was, most of the time it was unfounded, and she would end up making herself look bad instead.)  To try and discourage this behaviour I would tell her that your career progression is like a marathon – you need to focus on running faster rather than focusing on how someone else is running, what they are wearing, or even if they are running funny because none of it translates into how you fast you finish your race nor whether they finish before you or not.  Ultimately in her case, she couldn’t get out of it, her performance suffered and she ended up being managed out to another team that was less stressful and demanded less of her.  I’m not sure if she was the same there, but I like to hope she found her rhythm and could focus on doing well herself rather than talking poorly about those around her. 

We need to keep our eyes on our own dish because in the day and age of social media – where the best versions of self are often portrayed online – it’s too easy to get caught up feeling inadequate or left behind.  I love the LinkedIn vs Reality meme that’s been circulating (my fun take on this below with my beloved childhood dog) as it’s a great reminder that not all is what it seems (the same could apply for any post on Instagram, facebook, tiktok, etc.).  It’s too easy to see someone’s post or job update and think, ‘why isn’t that happening to me?’ or ‘they don’t deserve that because [XYZ]’ or ‘that should be me, not them’.  We all have our own mouths to feed – literally and figuratively – and comparing our journey to someone else’s doesn’t fill our plates, or bellies, any faster. 

Instead, we need to channel that energy into figuring out what we need on our plate; how much of it do we need; do we like something more than something else; do need more, and if so, how do we get it.  Aka we need to be focusing on whether we need development in a particular area, whether we should be getting training in a certain area, or exposure on certain projects, or even is there something we should stop doing.  When you focus on “feeding” yourself – i.e., building your experience, intelligence, and mental fortitude – it’s much easier to be happier for others around you when you see they are healthy and fed as well.  Because although food is a limited resource, most of you reading this are probably in the privileged position that there is enough to go around the table for everyone if you just choose to see it that way. 

Thoughts and opinions are purely my own, no ChatGPT here.  The above is just a brief conceptual summary, for more specific details, feel free to use ChatGPT.  I’d suggest a prompt along the lines of:

I am struggling with comparing myself with others and feeling like they are doing better, being promoted faster, and are getting paid more than me.  Can you help me be realistic about my current achievements and help me strategize on how I can improve myself so that I can be ready for the next opportunity? 

My take on the LinkedIn vs Reality meme generated with the help of AI: